Where I have gone I am not so small
My soul is as wide as the world is tall.
On butterflies wings, on wings of my own
To you I am gone, but I’m never alone, I am home
Planning a Civil Funeral Ceremony
What are the alternatives to a traditional church service led by a minister?
Traditionally there has been a choice: a religious church service, complete with liturgy which has been in place for centuries, or a humanist ceremony with no religion at all. In reality most people fall somewhere between the two. They would probably say that they and their loved ones hold some spiritual beliefs but without the labels associated with organised religion. So in order to best meet the needs of you and your family, we will work together to include as much or as little spiritual content as you wish, or include none at all.
Many ceremonies are held at a crematorium in modern, spacious chapels which offer music (piped, recorded or organ) as well as the possibilities of recording a ceremony, including visual tributes and webcasting around the world for family and friends unable to attend. A ceremony is usually followed by a cremation with the ashes scattered or interred at the crematorium, in a family plot, at a favourite place or even at sea – everything is possible.
Increasingly many local funeral directors are able to offer the use of a dedicated private chapel. This can be ideal if there will only be a few people attending, and ceremonies are usually followed by cremation or a traditional burial.
In recent years natural, eco or green burials have become increasingly popular. In this area we are fortunate to have several beautiful options. Ranging from fairly recent sites such as Clayton Wood near Hassocks, the natural burial ground at Warblington Church near Emsworth, to the award winning South Downs Natural Burial Ground at East Meon in Hampshire. You can choose to have the full service at the natural burial ground or if there is to be a cremation, then the remains can be interred there afterwards.
In general a Civil Funeral incorporates music and readings together with a tribute or eulogy. Together we will plan the service following close discussion and consultation with family and friends. Ceremonies can be simple or elaborate, but above all they centre around a personal and individual tribute.
I am available to support you through the days leading up to the ceremony. We will begin by meeting at your home, or wherever you prefer, to discuss the kind of ceremony that would best suit your loved one .We will discuss their life and consider whether family or friends would like to take part. This may mean they choose to speak on the day, or perhaps write something that I can read on their behalf. On such a difficult occasion speaking in public is not easy, but I will be there and ready to help out and step in if everything gets too much.
Sometimes children can be included in the ceremony, and if they were especially close to the person who has died this can form a very important part of their understanding of what has happened to the person they have lost.
We will talk about music, poems and readings as well as whether to include any spiritual or religious content such as The Lord’s Prayer or hymns. Above all the ceremony will be your choice, it will reflect the person you knew and loved and most importantly your ceremony will be individual and personal to your family.